Almost a year later and same issue.....

So I feel like I reached a low point in my weight but when I looked at past weigh ins, even though I have gained, I am not at my biggest which was 245, but I am at 242.4 so not that far away from biggest point. So I decided that since I will be marrying the love of my life on May 4th that I want to look back on the pictures and just focus on the happiness felt and not how I looked. But as try as I do, it is hard to accept that as my dress is an 18 and I am almost 250. I am a little mad at myself because I did not take advantage of this year like I should have, but you know what?!?!? I still have 5 more months and that is all that matters. Well, honestly all that matters is that I love this man and I am so pleased and blessed to be planning our lives together. So I decided to jump start my weight loss for the millionth time ( I know). I decided to do this 7 day detox that I found online and it is pretty much a vegetarian diet but the way I am doing it is as a vegan diet minus the daily yogurt I eat as breakfast or snack. I have also decided to the squat challenge which is start off doing 20 and each day increase by 5 until you get to 100 and then do some combination of numbers from the 1st to the 31st of December. I have also decided that I will start going back to the gym MWF and on the weekends do Turbofire until January 20th in which I will start the hybrid of P90X and Turbofire for three months which should have me finished by April 20th. After the completion of the program I will just go to the gym to lift weights and such until the wedding day. Granted after the wedding my goal is still to lose weight and manage it but I think I am going to be a bit more hard core now. A week or so ago, Caleb and I got back our engagement pictures and the first viewing was just horrible. Mind you I thought I was looking good. I knew my weight was not ideal so for several weeks I stopped weighing myself and I just did not feel fat. Looking at those pictures with Caleb I thought, oh my goodness, I am a fat beast. It took viewing them a second time reflecting on my love of him for me to be happy with the pictures. Thankfully we found some that we loved, others that were great and then the rest were so-so. Overall I am pleased we found this lady and she captured our pictures. But I told myself that when we get married I pray that my first reaction is notthe horrified and hatred I felt as I looked at myself. I can say that is the first time I felt that was since dating Caleb. He and I have taken many pictures before and even though my weight has fluctatated since April 2010, I look fondly at the pictures and love them. I want to feel the same way again. Body wise I am roughly 45-50lbs heavier than I was when he and I first met so my goal is to try to get back down to that as close and as healthly as possible. I straddle between a size 14-16 and when we met I was probably a hard 12 with rare occassions of 14. I do not think I hit the 14 mark until after the first year. For my motivations I have my first dress hanging so that I can now see it everyday. I do remember that I was a bit boobie in it so maybe it was a little too tight in the girl's area but it is a wonderful dress with a great memory. My goal is to wear it by May 2nd which is our tentative ceremony rehearsal. How awesome would it be to wear my first date gear to an evet which signifies how far we have come as a couple. So God, please keep me focused and motivated to continue on this journey. I know I can do this and so I say goodbye to eating majority of processed foods, hello to straight home cooking with some detours into eating out but not as much as he and I used to do. I am worried because December is a time of eating and celebrating as I have received several happy birthday dinner/sweet treat coupons, I know that I will be going out to dinner with Caleb, lunch with Doreen, who knows what Danae will do for me. I will also have at least one Christmas party to attend so I just gotta stay strong, eat portion size, exercise and stay positive.

What's on Daisy Mae's mind?: 12 Weeks of Healthy Food

What's on Daisy Mae's mind?: 12 Weeks of Healthy Food: I've come to think of the 12 Days of Christmas as the 12 Days of Overindulgence. If your schedule has at all resembled ours, we've been eati...